Gusty Blusts

and other stories The Weird and Wonderful World of "J"


spattersspattersWelcome to Gusty Blusts . . .

IMAGINE A WORLD where complete strangers feel the need to flash random parts of their diseased anatomy at you.

Where going for a takeaway turns into a full scale siege involving an amorous old man and riot police.

Or where complete strangers turn up on your doorstep and ask to stroke your bottom – only perhaps not quite so politely.

This is my world – I’m “J” and for some reason I seem to attract colourful characters and even surrealer situations like well, clothes attract pet hair.

Whether it’s strange old men trying to set fire to my garden, strange middle aged men requesting I move in with them and assist in caring for their mother, or slices of lemon committing suicide out of a second story window – it’s certainly never dull.

Or, so I’m told by friends who seem to find it all highly amusing and suggested that I do this.

So there you are – I’ve finally come clean about my little ‘problem’ so now it’s your chance to discover what it’s like to inhabit this surreal world . . . only without actually having to participate in any of that messy social interaction business . . . and experience for yourself, life from a decidedly quirky perspective . . .


Read specific examples:

Encounters of the contagious kind
Can I stroke your bottom?
A funny thing happened on the way to the chip shop
Care in the community
Lemming Lemon

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