Gusty Blusts

and other stories The Weird and Wonderful World of "J"
Approx 280 words | Read time approx 1 - 2 mins

Mmmm – you smell nice!

Social interactions and interesting smells – how to unwittingly attract strangers in your doctors waiting room . . .

THERE WERE already half a dozen people sat in the doctor’s waiting room when I arrived. Two men were sat together, but the others sat as far apart as was physically possible. Each occupying their seats like remote human islands, steadfast and determined not to contract whatever lurgy or social diseases the others might possibly have. Either that or they could just have been downright unsociable of course.

I’d just sat down to wait for my appointment when one of the two guys who were sat together decided to try do his bit for community relations by addressing each and everyone of the ‘islands’ in turn with the words “don’t I know you?”
‘No!’ Came each aggrieved response.
‘I think I do – you just don’t remember me!’ he was nothing if not persistent.
‘No, I’ve never seen you before in my life!’
‘Ah, yer do know me really – don’t you?!’
‘No, shut up yer silly bugger!’

And, finally having tried his luck with all the ‘islands’ and received similar responses, he physically got up out of his seat, walked across the room and of all the spare seats, came sat next to me. Then grinning like an imbecile, he leaned in just a little to close and said ‘mmm – you smell interesting!’

What?! Although admittedly it was marginally better than the other half’s bizarre ‘you smell of Cornish pasties’ remark I received when collecting him from work that same evening . . . I wouldn’t mind but I hadn’t even eaten a pastie.

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