Gusty Blusts

and other stories The Weird and Wonderful World of "J"
Approx 343 words | Read time approx 1 - 3 mins

Personal services

Outstretched hand

A strange scary man bursts into the chemist with the offer of some very personal services . . .

LIKE A NUMBER of other people I was waiting to collect a prescription in Boots’ when all of a sudden a leather clad, helmet wearing biker burst through the door and demanded to know where a certain massage parlour was.

Initially thinking it was going to be a stick up, a kind of shocked silence fell on the place and no one replied. Either that or no one actually wanted to admit they were personally acquainted with the whereabouts of said parlour.

He removed his helmet, singled me out and asked again if I knew where it was. I didn’t. Although quite why he thought I might know I’ve no idea, but gave up trying to work this kind of thing out a long time ago.

‘They do really good stuff you know,’ he said almost as if I should at least know of it through reputation alone.
‘I’m sorry – I’ve really no idea,’ it was true, I hadn’t.
‘Makes me feel soooo good . . .’ he said eyes shut and evidently off on one.
‘Oh!’ I said while desperately trying not to laugh. Which was more than could be said for some of the other customers who clearly hadn’t expected a trip to the chemist to involve impromptu sex talks with strangers.

‘You should try it you know – they don’t use their hands!’ he continued while leaning in just a little too close.
‘Oh!’ I said again in the absence of anything more constructive to say since hands free massage propositions were a first even for me.
‘Would you like me to show you – I won’t use my hands?’ He enquired grinning expectantly.
‘Er, er, no you’re alright thanks . . . !’ I just about managed before the whole place erupted in laughter.
‘Ah, well – worth a try!’ he said leaning in closer and winking before putting his helmet back on and disappearing back through the door.

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One Response to “Personal services”

  1. 1
    gadgetgal says:

    Lol! I never get offers like that!

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