Gusty Blusts

and other stories The Weird and Wonderful World of "J"
Approx 240 words | Read time approx 1 - 2 mins

Wanted: someone to take care of me

A strange old woman and a novel approach to picking up strangers in bars . . .

FOR SOME strange reason a visit to the ladies room at the bar where I’d been having lunch resulted in my getting a doing from a strange old woman apparently, or so it seemed, just for being there.

The woman had been walking in front of me and having a conversation with someone, whom I can only assume was who she believed to be her husband, walking behind.

Strangely enough, her husband didn’t respond and she became more agitated and started to liven up her somewhat one sided conversation with the occasional sweary outburst.

Finally, she stopped at the entrance to the ladies, turned around to face me and started to give her husband, or in this particular instance me, a doing for not responding.

Not wanting to state the obvious, but not particularly wanting to upset her either I ever-so-politely pointed out that I wasn’t actually her husband and therefore had absolutely no idea what on earth she was on about.

But I really wasn’t expecting her to say ‘of course you’re not my husband – he passed away 10 years ago, bloody useless he was too! No, no my dear you look far too useful and I’m looking for someone who’ll put up with me. You’re not ideal, but you’ll do for the time being!’ Cheers!

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