Gusty Blusts

and other stories The Weird and Wonderful World of "J"
Approx 533 words | Read time approx 2 - 4 mins

Wrong train right station

Empty shopping trolley

Wrong train right station – a stranger, an empty shopping trolley and a sticky proposition . . .

YOU KIND of know the day isn’t going so well when having asked six different station officials you still somehow manage to get on the wrong train. Albeit the train you’d been repeatedly assured was in fact the right one.

It all started when the conductor wandered into the compartment, asked to see my ticket and said ‘and where do you think you’re going?’
‘Halifax’ I said hopefully, although had I not been so cold and tired probably anywhere would have done.
‘Not on this train you’re not!’
‘What?!’ I exclaimed only not quite as loudly as some of the other passengers, who had evidently also been told to get on the wrong train.
‘But six of your officials told me this train was going to Manchester via the Calder Valley route!’
‘That’s as maybe’ he said, ‘but I’m telling you it’s not!’

‘You’re gonna have to get off at Huddersfield and then catch the right train to Halifax!’
‘Whatever!’ I said feeling really too tired to argue.

Disembarking at Huddersfield station with at least a dozen other ‘wrong trainers’ we suddenly found ourselves having to tiptoe through a sea of spilled shopping. Turned out someone had tried to take a fully laden Tesco’s shopping trolley down two flights of the station stairs.

Needless to say it hadn’t got very far before gravity stepped in and lent a helping hand by assisting in its rapid descent. All the way down to the station platform and beyond. Albeit not necessarily in a manner that the shopper would have found remotely helpful.

The entire platform was littered with burst yoghurt and milk cartons, assorted loose fruit, slices of bread, broken biscuits and compressed concertina cans that looked like they’d bounced off every single step on the way down.

In the midst of this devastation was a scruffy looking man scratching his head in what can only be described as utter disbelief, as he stood alongside an upturned empty shopping trolley. The wheels of which were still spinning.

The rest of the shopping, as we quickly discovered was randomly distributed over each and every one of the station steps and on the track itself.

Oranges, apples, tomatoes and frozen peas were still bouncing down the stairs alongside fish fingers, cornflakes and multicoloured dog biscuits. What made it all the more surreal was the way everyone was just walking past and carrying on as if nothing had ever happened. Like it was perfectly normal for someone to try take their grocery laden shopping trolley down two flights of stairs and well, just board a train.

If I hadn’t known any better I might have thought it was another one of those highly amusing and ludicrous contenders for a Turner Prize. Still, if I hadn’t inadvertently got on the wrong train I would’ve missed it . . . That and being singled out by the man whose shopping it was with the somewhat unusual request that I assist in licking his yoghurt . . .

Strange how the journey home was a bit of a come down after that.

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2 Responses to “Wrong train right station”

  1. 1
    gadgetgal says:

    Did you have a lick of his yogurt then? pmsl!

  2. 2
    J says:

    That’d be telling! 😉

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